The Mental Health of New Dads: How I Can Help as a Person-Centred Counsellor
Fatherhood is a transformative journey filled with joy, challenges, and overwhelming responsibility. While the focus often rests on mothers during the perinatal period, the mental health of new Dads is frequently overlooked. Many new Dads experience anxiety, depression, and emotional struggles as they step into their new roles as a parent. In the UK, societal expectations and a lack of support can intensify these feelings, leaving many new Dads grappling with their mental health in silence.
According to DadPad, an estimated 10% of new Dads suffer from postnatal depression, while about 39% of new Dads worry about their mental health. The responsibility of parenthood, paired with societal expectations and the pressure to provide, can exacerbate these challenges. Many Dads feel they can’t talk about their struggles, leading to isolation and worsening mental health.
Additionally, BBC’s Tiny Happy People also highlight that 1 in 10 new Dads experience symptoms of postnatal depression. Many new Dads express that they don’t feel confident or prepared for the emotional and practical challenges of being a parent. The lack of open conversations about these struggles, combined with societal expectations that Dads should be the strong, stable presence in the family, often leaves men isolated.
Furthermore, Mind highlights that partners of mothers with postnatal depression (PND) or other perinatal mental health issues are also at risk. Dads or partners may feel increased pressure as they take on more responsibilities, which can lead to their own mental health issues. The report notes that 1 in 5 partners experience depression during or after pregnancy. The emotional impact on Dads when their partners are struggling with perinatal mental health can compound existing stressors, increasing feelings of isolation, frustration, and helplessness.
As a person-centred counsellor, I aim to provide the emotional support new Dads and Dads in general, creating a space where their unique challenges can be acknowledged and addressed.
The Mental Health Challenges New Dads Face
New dads often experience a whirlwind of emotions. In addition to the joy of having a baby, they face:
- Isolation and Loneliness: Many dads feel isolated, especially when traditional support networks focus more on mothers. Dads often believe they must manage on their own, which can lead to feelings of loneliness and disconnection.
- Pressure to Provide: There’s significant pressure on dads to be the financial providers, often leading to stress and anxiety. This pressure can be particularly intense for Dads returning to work soon after the birth of their child.
- Emotional Suppression: Societal norms discourage men from expressing their vulnerability, causing them to bottle up their emotions. This can lead to increased stress, anxiety, and even depression.
- Partner's Mental Health Impact: Dads who support partners with postnatal depression or anxiety may face additional mental health challenges, often taking on more parenting responsibilities and experiencing feelings of helplessness or stress.
- Lack of Paternal Support Services: While mothers typically receive extensive support during pregnancy and after birth, Dads are often left out. This lack of attention can leave new Dads feeling overlooked and unsure of how to cope with their emotions.
These struggles are common but often unspoken. The *YouGov* survey for the Mental Health Foundationrevealed that many men are reluctant to seek help, with 65% of men saying they’d be too embarrassed to admit they had mental health struggles. This silence reinforces the harmful idea that men must remain emotionally unaffected by the stresses of fatherhood.
A Personal Experience: The Silent Struggle
I vividly remember the first time my partner and I went through the painful experience of miscarriage after our first child. It was devastating for both of us. While the hospital staff provided my partner with the emotional support she needed, I was left feeling invisible. No one asked how I was coping, even though I, too, had lost a child. This experience reinforced the idea that men's emotional needs are often overlooked, especially during times of shared trauma.
Many Dads undergo similar experiences, expected to be the silent, passive supporters. But men grieve and suffer emotionally too, and their feelings deserve attention and care. This personal journey shaped my passion for supporting new Dads, helping them process their emotions in a safe and non-judgmental space.
My Experience as a New Dad
Becoming a Dad at the age of 39 was both exhilarating and overwhelming. My son is now nearly three years old, but I still recall the whirlwind of emotions from those early days. Juggling a full-time, stressful job with only two weeks of paternity leave was tough. I was trying to figure out how to keep my baby and partner happy, healthy, fed, and clean, all while adjusting to a completely changed life.
I often felt unconfident compared to my partner, who seemed to adapt to parenting naturally—or so I thought. I felt like I didn’t know what I was doing. I was like a co-pilot, and sometimes I still feel that way. However, I quickly learned that the key to our parenting and relationship was teamwork and trust. Tiredness was our biggest enemy—and still is—but I've learned to adapt.
I recognise that my experience isn’t universal. Some new Dads may not have a partner due to break-ups, loss, or difficult relationships. Others might be suffering in silence. Every Dads journey is unique, and that's why it's crucial to figure out your new life—not just for your child and partner but for yourself. The sooner you start, the better.
How I Can Help as a Person-Centred Counsellor
As a person-centred counsellor, my approach is grounded in empathy, active listening, and the belief that everyone has the capacity for growth and self-healing. My goal is to create a space where new Dads can explore their thoughts and emotions without fear of judgment or societal expectations.
Postpartum Mental Health for Dads
I offer one-on-one counselling for Dads experiencing postpartum depression, anxiety, or emotional overwhelm. It's not uncommon for Dads to feel disconnected or unsure of their new role. Together, we'll address these challenges and develop strategies to manage difficult emotions.
Navigating Fatherhood Expectations
The pressure to be the "provider" can weigh heavily on new Dads. Balancing work demands with being emotionally available at home is tough. I help Dads redefine what fatherhood means to them, offering support as they navigate societal expectations.
Work-Life Balance and Identity Shifts
Fatherhood can bring significant changes to one's identity. Many Dads feel torn between professional responsibilities and the desire to be present at home. I provide support on balancing these responsibilities while embracing the new identity that fatherhood brings.
Support for Stay-at-Home Dads
Stay-at-home Dads may experience isolation or a lack of validation. I offer individual counselling, providing a space for Dads to connect and share experiences.
Grief and Loss Support
Dads who experience miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss often struggle to find emotional support. As my personal experience shows, men are frequently left out of the grieving process. I provide grief counselling, offering a safe space to process emotions and heal from trauma.
Why Seeking Help Matters
Addressing mental health early in fatherhood is crucial for the wellbeing of both the Dad and his family. Dads dealing with depression, anxiety, or stress may find it challenging to bond with their child or support their partner effectively. By seeking help, Dads can improve their emotional wellbeing, strengthen relationships, and create a positive environment for their family.
It’s important to remember that being vulnerable and asking for help is not a sign of weakness—it’s a strength. Dads who take care of their mental health can provide better care for their families and themselves.
Why Choose My Service?
At JPL Counselling, I offer:
- A Safe, Supportive Environment: A space where you can express your emotions without fear of judgment.
- Flexible Scheduling: Online and evening appointments to accommodate even the busiest Dads.
- Personalised Approach: Tailored to your unique situation and emotional needs.
If you're a new Dad or seasoned struggling with anxiety, stress, or feelings of isolation, I'm here to help you navigate this journey. Don't wait until the stress becomes overwhelming—reach out today.
Reach Out Today
Your mental health matters. As a Dad, you deserve support and understanding. Visit www.jplcounselling.co.uk learn more about my services and schedule your first session. Let's work together to make your transition into fatherhood a healthy and fulfilling experience.